What the Heart Desires
by MapleRose
Summary: AU. The war was finally over, and he somehow managed to survive. But when he finally found her, he found that she did not wait for him... MwuMurrue
1. I: Ghost from the Past

AN: okay, okay, I've got a couple of other things to work on, but this idea came into my head during my week of fever, and my muse refused to leave me alone until I typed it out. So here we are. I know, two things that I said I don't like to write, AU and something that has a decent plot, but like I said, my muse won't leave me alone...

Disclaimer: I'd love to own, but sadly, I don't...

Warning: this fic may contain character OOCness, angst, and bits of melodrama, read at your own risk. You have been warned.

"_The course of true love never did run smoothly"  
- A Midsummer Night's Dream_

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Phase I: Ghost from the Past

--

"Hey Murrue-san, come play with us!" a young voice called from the far side of the beach.

Murrue Ramius looked around at the toys littered in the sand and the water and sighed. "You guys go ahead, I'll catch up later!" she called back. She watched with a serene smile as she watched the orphan children disappear around a rock formation with Lacus and Kira.

She hummed a tune as she bent down and started picking up the toys and placing them in a pile on the beach. She laughed to herself as she thought that she must've looked like a mother picking up after her children. She never really thought of herself as a mother. Well, there was once, before the war ended, when…

She bit her lip and stopped her train of thoughts. Then she quickly shook her head to clear that gloomy thought. It had been little over a year since the war ended, but she still occasionally thought about him. But every time her mind took her back, she'd quickly shove those thoughts away. He and what had happened at that last battle was at the top of her list of things not to think about.

Presently, she was visiting the house on the beach that Lacus, Kira, Kira's mother, Reverend Malchio, and the orphan children had been living in since the end of the war. They had invited her over for lunch, and since she had the day off, she accepted their offer.

She picked up some of the toys and walked into the house. It was after lunch, Reverend Malchio went to visit a friend, and Kira's mother was with the children, so currently the house was empty. Murrue dumped the toys into a sink and washed them carefully before placing them in the toy chest. It was so quiet in here. It kind of reminded her of her own little house that she'd found after the war. She sighed again and started humming. The silence was starting to make her think about things that she didn't want to again.

When she was done, she walked onto the beach again. There were still some toys left on the beach, as she couldn't carry them all at once. She picked up the remaining plastic shovels and pails and was about to head to the house when she thought she heard a faint voice calling her name. She looked around, but nobody else was there. She shook her head and continued on; it must've been just her imagination.

But the sound came again, louder this time. Did it sound a bit out of breath? And, she gasped inwardly, it seemed that she'd heard this voice somewhere before.

She shook her head without checking, telling herself that she was just imagining it. Even though it'd been quite some time, she still occasionally saw and heard illusions that her mind created.

"Murrue!" it came again from behind her, unmistakable this time.

She stopped in her tracks and gasped audibly as she started shaking. She recognized that voice. But, but it couldn't be, there was no way!

Slowly, she turned around and promptly dropped the toys in her arms. The plastic objects hit the sand with a dull thud.

Her mouth dropped open and she closed her eyes. No, it couldn't be, this was just another one of her illusions, it couldn't be real, right? But when she opened her eyes again, the illusion was still there. She froze to the spot and felt her heart start to pound.

_No way, this can't be real! _

For standing there, a few feet in front of her, was a ghost from her past: Mwu La Flaga. He looked just the way he had when he left her, and had his roguish grin on his scarred face.

_(...to be continued...)_

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_AN: sorry for such a short chapter, but it's just to get things started. but I must warn you, I don't like to write long chapters..._

_Please review?_


	2. II: Startling Realisation

Phase II: Startling Realisation

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"W-What, how," she stammered as her feet moved as if on their own towards the man standing before her. He didn't say anything, just grinned at her, his eyes shone as if they were laughing. He looked just as he did when she'd last seen him. The only physical difference that she could see was a couple of scars across his handsome face. Otherwise, he looked like the same old Mwu, her Mwu. He was dressed casually, looking laid-back as usual. His short dirty-blond hair was slightly messy, and there was something about his grin that reminded her of a little boy. But there was such kindness and love in his shining crystal blue eyes as he looked at her. She could almost feel the sunny warmth radiating from his presence.

When she got close enough, she reached out a shaking hand to touch his face. Her fingers recoiled a bit before making contact, as if afraid to find out that this was just an illusion like the others. But what they touched was real, and she stroked his warm skin in wonder.

"Surprise?" he smiled lopsidedly as he suddenly pulled her into a tight embrace. And after getting over her initial disbelief, she hugged him back.

"Oh Murrue, I missed you so much," he whispered as he cupped her face that was full of surprise. "I'm so glad I finally found you."

"Are you real?" she managed to blurt out, dumbfounded.

He laughed and kissed her. "Yes, I'm real."

"But, how…"

"Well, it seems that I'm extremely lucky," he laughed as he released her. "Come on, I'll tell you all about it." He led her down the beach, walking away from the little house, her previous tasks forgotten.

He wrapped an arm around her shoulders as they walked down the beach, the cool waves lapping at their feet.

"Well, after, well, you know," he trailed off, not wanting to remind her of what she'd seen. She nodded to signal him to continue. "Anyway, I woke up some time later—I'm not sure how much later—in a hospital on Copernicus, sore all over and unable to move. The doctors told me that apparently a ship that managed to survive the battle found the cockpit of the Strike still in tact, and brought it aboard. Then they brought me to Copernicus when they found me inside. I never saw my rescuers, or had any way to thank them," he broke off softly, gazing into the distance. Then he blinked away those thoughts and continued his story.

"It took about half a year for my wounds to heal enough that the doctors would let me go outside. I didn't exactly have a fun time learning how to walk again," he smiled wryly. "Even the doctors were surprised that I wasn't paralysed. Apparently I had amazing survival skills and luck, though I have to attribute it mostly to the latter. Guess I'm one of the lucky ones!" he laughed, but it died as he saw her only smile weakly. He saw her gaze at the scar on his forearm, and supposed it was painful for her to hear. He didn't like to see her so sad, so he stopped and hugged her as he whispered in her ear, "But now, I'm the luckiest man alive, because I've found you."

He nuzzled her neck and was pleased to hear a giggle out of her. She laughed as she detached herself from him. "Stop it and continue with your story!"

He grinned, glad that she was okay, and continued walking with her hand in his.

"But after I was well enough, I had no idea how to find the Archangel. I asked around, but nobody seemed to know where you guys went after the battle. The Kusanagi apparently returned to its original lunar orbital fleet, but the crew had changed, so nobody knew where the Eternal or the Archangel went.

"I needed money, so someone suggested that I go back to the EA. I didn't want to at first, after what happened at JOSH-A and Jakin Due. But well, it was the only thing I could think of to do. Besides, I thought that maybe they'd have some information about the Archangel. And I'd have excuses and the means to travel around."

He glanced a Murrue, she listened intently, but looked sad. He stopped, not sure whether to continue or not. But when he stopped talking, she looked at in mild surprise.

"And then what?"

He hesitated, "Are you sure you want me to continue?"

She nodded. "Yes, I want to know what happened. How did you find us?" she looked up at him with a smile, a somewhat false smile, he noted, but didn't say anything.

"Well," he continued, "I couldn't go on my mission right away, because I had work for the military. But whenever I was sent to a new place, I'd ask about the Archangel. But it seemed that no one, at least no one in the EA knew anything about it.

"Last month, by some stroke of luck, I ran into Colonel Kisaka. And he was the one who told me that you were at Orb." He sighed in feigned exasperation. "I wanted to smack myself when I heard that, thinking how stupid I was for not thinking of that. But I guess that explosion knocked some intelligence out of me," he laughed, but immediately shut up as he felt her stiffen. "Sorry," he mumbled.

"Anyway," he said quickly, getting back to his story, "It took me until now to take some time off and come to Orb. Good thing Orb is small, and good thing that I know the Representative."

"So," he looked at her a bit wistfully, "How have you been?"

She seemed somewhat surprised. But quickly collected herself.

"I'm okay, I guess." Then at his guilty look, she added, "My friends have been very supportive, and I've managed with their help." A pause. "Mwu, there's something…" she trailed off, as if not wanting to continue.

"Yes? What is it?" he asked, sensing her worry.

She bit her lip before answering, "Nothing, never mind." She seemed to shove that thought away as she smiled at him. "I hope things haven't been too bad for you. Judging by those scars, those wounds must've hurt."

"Like you wouldn't imagine," he muttered as he wrinkled his nose. "But I'm worried about you, I mean, it must've hurt for you too, when…" he trailed off, and sighed. "I'm sorry Murrue."

She smiled gently and shook her head. "It wasn't your fault. I admit that it hurt a lot at first, but not so bad when," she bit her lip again and shook her head, as if shaking the thought away. "But it doesn't matter anymore, because you've come back."

"Yes, I'm so glad that all my searching wasn't in vain. Now we can have that second chance!" he grinned happily. But that grin faded a bit as he noticed that she did not share his joy. Her head was down, and it seemed that she was avoiding his gaze.

"Murrue? What's wrong?" he asked softly, concerned.

He was greeted with silence, before a mumbled "Nothing."

He sighed inwardly. He knew something was up, but wasn't sure whether to ask or not.

"Don't worry, I _am _real," he laughed weakly. "I'm not a ghost you know."

"I know."

"Aren't you," he started, a bit unsure, "Aren't you happy that I'm back?" he asked quietly, sound a bit hurt.

She opened her mouth to reply, when the ringing of her cell phone interrupted her.

"Excuse me," she told him sheepishly before taking the call.

He regarded her gently as she nodded and spoke to the other person. She looked so beautiful and graceful, yet she emanated a silent strength reminiscent of a warship captain that he admired so much. When he had been in the hospital, he had been able to get through the physical pain by thinking of her, by the hope that one day he would see her again. It looked as though she was glad to see him, yet for some reason, she seemed sad at the same time. He felt a pang of guilt at that thought, because he knew that he had broken her heart, and it probably wasn't easy for her to see him suddenly show up like this.

"_Oh, don't worry, I remembered to buy the milk…" _

Mwu tried not to listen, but the volume of her cell phone was turned up somewhat high, and he was standing close enough to her to hear snippets of conversation. He was about to walk away farther to give her some privacy when the next words stopped him dead in his tracks.

"_Bye Murrue, see you at home later, okay?"_ he heard a male voice on the other side say before a click indicating the person hang up.

Mwu felt the air leave him as he stared at the woman standing before him in shock. _Who was that? And what did he mean by "see you at home"?_

"Murrue, who…" he started to ask, but his throat suddenly felt dry.

He cleared his throat swallowed hard, trying to swallow the lump forming in his throat. "Who was that?" he managed to ask, trying to see her face, but she wouldn't look up to meet his eyes. He was half hoping that she didn't hear him, because he was afraid of the answer.

Silence.

"My fiancé," came the low, mumbled answer finally.

Mwu failed to hide the gasp that escaped him. He looked, and for the first time, noticed the ring on her finger.

_(...to be continued...)_

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_AN: wow, that came out longer than I thought it would (this is probably as long as it gets, I don't like long chapters...). It wasn't the easiest to write, as I had to think of a way for him to survive (besides having to bargain with the writers XD). In case you don't know, Copernicus is that neutral (I think) city on the moon. and in Destiny, we see Colonel Kisaka with the EA for some reason, so I thought he'd be perfect to tell Mwu about her location._

_Mwuahaha, cliffhanger ending! Review please!_


	3. III: Accusations

_Warning: This chapter may contain bits of character OOCness, angst, and melodrama, viewer (reader) discretion is advised (ie keep away from sharp, flammable, or otherwise dangerous, objects). You have been warned..._

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Phase III: Accusations

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Mwu's mind was spinning as it struggled to process this new information.

"_My fiancé."_

Fiancé. That single word hit him like a ton of bricks as his mind told him what it meant. And his heart sank at that realisation.

"W-Why didn't you tell me?" he whispered, struggling to keep his voice even.

She finally looked up, eyes troubled, "I-I was going to, but you looked so happy, and I, I couldn't…" she trailed off.

"Oh, so you were just going to let me find out for myself on your wedding day?" he asked sarcastically.

"I—" she tried to retort, but couldn't find the words. So instead, bit her lip and mumbled, "I'm sorry."

Silence passed between them, only broken by the occasional distant cries of a seagull as it flew towards the setting sun. They stood there, not looking at each other, each lost in their own thoughts, not sure what to do or say. What _was_ one supposed to do or say in this situation?

"Why didn't you wait for me Murrue?" came his shaky voice. She couldn't help but catch an underlying accusing tone beneath the sadness and disappointment in those words.

She clenched and unclenched her fist. "How was I supposed to know you were going to come back? By all accounts, you were dead," she looked away.

"I know," he answered softly, trying hard, but failing, to bury how hurt he was feeling. "I just didn't think you'd get married so soon. I thought you'd at least wait a bit..."

"Wait? For what?" she asked bitterly, "For your ghost to come back to haunt me? Am I supposed to wither away my life in misery waiting in vain for you? You were the one who told me I shouldn't let the past stop me from looking for a future." Then she added almost as an afterthought, "Don't be so selfish Mwu."

"Selfish? Selfish!" his voice grew in volume, "_I'm _selfish? You have no right saying that. I almost died for you, and you call me selfish! If anything, you're the selfish one!"

As soon as the words left his mouth, he realised they were the wrong ones, as he saw her pale visibly and her thin frame shake slightly, and a gasp escaped her lips.

"Wait, that didn't come out right," he palmed his face as he tried to take back what he said. But it was too late. Her eyes flashed as she clenched her fists.

"Since when is wanting to move on and find happiness, wanting to live, selfish?" she asked coldly, voice even, her tone sending chills down his back.

Neither moved, and they couldn't look at each other. They were both tense and still as they waited, not wanting to be the one to speak next.

"I understand," Mwu finally stated in a quiet voice, "If that's the happiness you've chosen, then I have no right taking it away from you." He stepped forward, and for a moment, Murrue's heart quickened as she thought he was going to kiss her. But he didn't. Instead, he passed her and headed for the road. "Have a nice life."

Murrue gasped and straightened up at those words, uttered so emotionlessly. She whirled around and stared at his retreating back in shock.

"M…" Tears stung at her eyes as she almost called out his name, but for some reason, she couldn't. Perhaps it was due to that lump in her throat as she watched him walk away from her once again without so much as even a backward glance.

_(...to be continued...)_

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_AN: seems like I upset quite a few people last chap, and I don't suppose this is gonna help either... sorry... but just an "what if" idea I had that refuses to go away. I mean, you can't expect everything in life to go the way to want them to, and people sometimes say things without really meaning them (or thinking first)_

_But please don't get _too _upset and review (since I updated so soon)? (ie yell at me...)_


	4. IV: Guilt

Phase IV: Guilt

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"What's wrong Murrue?" asked the dark-haired man as she trudged heavily up the stairs.

"Nothing," she mumbled without glancing back.

"Okay," he replied uncertainly, "Don't you want any dinner?"

"No thanks," she replied, "I'm kind of tired right now." With that, she entered her room and locked the door before flopping onto her bed.

She lied there in the dark, and held up her left hand, gaze lingering on the ring. It signified a promise, a promise of a chosen future. But could she be happy in that future knowing that Mwu was still alive and that she didn't wait for him? It was true that she'd learned to move on in the year since Jakin Due, or rather, she forced herself to move on, telling herself that she needed to, or else she would never be able to live properly. She had to learn to let go of the past in order to find a future. At first, she was unwilling after what had happened, but slowly, slowly her heart healed and she learned to love again.

Maybe it was because she was afraid to be alone, especially since now that there were no distractions of battles for her. Or maybe she was angry at him, angry that he had left her alone, angry that he didn't "come right back" like he said he would, and angry that he had captured her heart, then broke it with no one to pick up the pieces. He didn't keep his promise, so why should she?

Was he angry at her?

No. No, she _wished_ that he would be angry. She wished that he would yell at her.

But instead, the look in his eyes was one of disappointment and sadness, one of heartbreak that echoed her own a year ago. That look haunted her, as if accusing her in a broken voice '_how could you'_.

Her gaze travelled to the two white military hats sitting on her bookshelf, and felt a pang of guilt stab at her heart as they stared back silently.

"_Why didn't you wait for me Murrue?" _

She squeezed her eyes shut, hoping to make those words and the memory of that look in his eyes go away. She felt the familiar guilt rushing back at her, like it did when she first starting dating again, the horrible guilt that she was betraying him, betraying his memory. But she had pushed it down then, telling herself repeatedly that she _needed_ to move on, and for a while, it stayed buried.

_"I just didn't think you'd get married so soon. I thought you'd at least wait a bit."_

She suddenly felt angry as hot tears welled in her eyes. She was angry, angry at him because his words had hurt. But it wasn't so much as to _what_ he said, but rather because she knew he was right, because what he had said echoed what her conscience had accused her of in the back of her mind. It was true; she _had_ been selfish. She was sick of being alone, sick of being heartbroken, sick of waiting, and sick of crying. So despite what that voice in her head tried to tell her, she decided betray him, decided to betray her love for him.

But now…now what? Life had thrown her another curve ball, and how was she supposed to deal with it? Now that the guilt came bubbling back, she wasn't sure how to deal with it.

Was this a sign that she had made a huge mistake? Well, she had made a mess of things, that was for sure.

Was their love supposed to be invincible? If so, then how did it come to this? Was it simply because she was weak and succumbed to her selfishness?

At the moment, she did the only thing she could think of: burying her face in her pillow and let her tears fall, hoping it would wash away the guilt.

--

"Murrue, Murrue?"

"Wha—" The woman in question snapped back to attention as she felt something poke at her arm. She turned to the source of the sound and found herself staring into a pair of worried brown eyes.

She shook her head to clear it. "Sorry Gale, did you say something?" she asked sheepishly.

The man's brow furrowed in concern. "Are you feeling okay? You hardly touched your breakfast, and you didn't eat anything last night either."

"Oh, I'm okay," she bit into her toast, "See, I'm eating."

He didn't look convinced as he raised an eyebrow. "Did something happen yesterday?"

Murrue's eyes widened as images of her surprise meeting the day before rushed into her mind. She shook her head quickly. "N-Nothing, I, just have a lot of my mind."

He smiled hesitantly. "I guess you're pretty busy planning the wedding and everything aren't you?"

She nodded, grateful for an excuse.

"Well," he stood up, "Don't work yourself too hard." He moved to kiss her, but paused as she turned away. His brows furrowed again as he studied her, but knew that at this point, she wasn't ready to tell him whatever it was that was bothering her, so he should just leave her alone.

"I'll see you tonight, okay?" With a light peck on her cheek, he left.

Murrue watched as he headed out the door. She glanced at the ring again and sighed again as she sipped her coffee.

_(...to be continued...)_

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_AN: a bit of insight into Murrue's thoughts. and here we get to see Murrue's fiance, an OC, hope that answers your question fireworks. as much as I adore the AndyMurrue potential, I can only see their relationship stay unrequited, staying the way it is in Destiny._


	5. V: Selfish

Phase V: Selfish 

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"Are you okay, Murrue-san?" came a soft voice.

"Eh?" it was then that she realised that she had been in a daze. "Oh, I'm fine Lacus-san," she replied absent-mindedly.

Lacus's eyebrows knitted in concern. "There's something bothering you, isn't there?" she asked gently.

"Hmm?" Murrue turned her gaze to the girl standing before her, "W-Why do you say that?"

"Well," the younger girl looked down and tugged at Murrue's dress, "You didn't seem to pay attention when I asked you if the length of the hem was right, and you don't seem excited or happy at all."

She then looked up and looked Murrue straight in the eyes. "You're wearing your wedding dress, yet you look so troubled."

Murrue looked down at the beautiful silk white dress she was wearing and sighed as she fingered the soft material. This wasn't exactly how she'd imagined her life to be, now that things had played out the way it did…

"This is, this is about Flaga-san, isn't it…" the younger girl stated softly when she didn't answer.

Murrue gasped. "H-How…"

Lacus smiled a bit, "Kira and I saw him last night, and we figured…" Then seeing how troubled and scared she looked, Lacus placed a hand on her shoulder. "It's okay Murrue-san, you can tell me about it. You'll feel better talking about it."

Murrue's sighed and stepped off the pedestal she had been standing on and sat on it, her dress pooling around her feet. Lacus sat down beside her and nodded in encouragement.

"I-I don't know what to do," she fiddled with the dress. "I, I thought I finally let go of my past and moved on, but he just comes out of nowhere, reminding me of all that I wanted to forget and all that I'm doing wrong.

"I feel like I'm supposed to love Mwu, like I'm obligated to do so. I mean, he almost died for me. I feel so awful that I've betrayed him so soon, and I feel horrible and guilty that this," she held out the ring, "Isn't his."

She swallowed and continued. "But I can turn back on Gale either, it just wouldn't be fair to him since he's been so kind to me, and none of this is his fault. I feel obligated to him to see this through." She bit her lip, eyes troubled. "I feel torn, and I just don't know what to do or how to feel. What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to feel?"

Lacus listened intently.

"Your obligations, Flaga-san, and your fiancé are important," she looked at Murrue in the eyes inquisitively. "But what about Murrue-san? What does she want? Your feelings are important too." When the older woman looked uncertain, she added gently, "It's okay to be selfish once in a while, so look inside your heart and find what it is that you truly want."

Murrue shut her eyes as his words echoed painfully in her mind.

"_If anything, you're the selfish one!" _

"But I'm…"

His words hurt, because she knew he was right. She _was_ the selfish one. She found that deep in her heart, she still could not forget him. It may be partly brought on by guilt, but in her heart, there were lingering feelings for him, genuine feelings that she could not deny and could never bury. She had made a mistake and betrayed him, so would he be able to forgive her for it? Part of her was afraid to find out as she remembered the bitter disappointment in his eyes, and the cold indifferent manner of which he had spoken his last words to her, wishing her to "have a good life".

And then there was Gale. It seemed that he genuinely cared for her, but was her feelings for him the same? Or was it simply because she needed someone to be there? She felt guilty that she owed it to him to make him happy. But would he be happy if she was leading him on? Would he, and her, be happier to know the truth (whatever the truth was these days)? In the back of her mind, she had feared that she was indeed leading him on, that her heart was not sincere. But she was too afraid to find out. But what she was most afraid of was that if she broke up with Gale, and Mwu rejected her, she would end up back at square one, heartbroken and alone.

She gasped as she came to that realisation. And as a concerned Lacus watched, hid her face from the mirror using her hands as she cursed herself.

"I'm…so selfish…I can't…stand it…I'm such…horrible person…I can't…even…"

Lacus gently wrapped an arm around Murrue's shaking shoulders and murmured comforting words to her.

"It's okay Murrue-san, we're all selfish inside. And whatever choice you make, even if it's selfish, I'm sure they will forgive you for it."

Lacus waited until she stopped shaking, before removing Murrue's hand from her face. She peered at the older woman gently.

"Have you decided what _you_ want to do?"

Murrue closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She nodded.

"I want to see him again."

_(...to be continued...)_

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_AN: sorry for the delay, took me a while to figure out how to finish this. meh, a sort of filler chap, but also to show Murrue's more vulnerable side, and perhaps she has come to realise what she truly wants._

_Next chapter's my fave. I've got it all written out already, just needs some tweaking..._


	6. VI: Goodbye

Phase VI: Goodbye

---

Murrue walked nervously towards the park. Somehow, Kira had managed to find where Mwu was staying, and arranged for him to meet her.

She spotted him sitting alone on a park bench, staring off into space. Her heart sped up. She didn't know whether it was because she was nervous or excited or scared.

"Um, hi," she said with an uncertain smile as she approached him.

"Hey." She wasn't sure, but somehow his smile looked a bit strained.

An awkward moment of silence passed as she stood watching him. He'd already turned his gaze away from her.

"So," she started as she sat on the opposite side of the bench, "How have you been?"

"Okay, I guess."

Silence.

Murrue fiddled her fingers and bit her lip, searching for something to say. The silence was uncomfortable, unnerving even.

"I'm, I'm sorry about, you know," she stammered out. Taking a deep breath, she continued, "I'm sorry that I didn't, um, tell you about my uh…situation." She mentally kicked herself for not being able to say what she really wanted, but she seemed to be afraid to use the word "engagement" in front of him.

He merely nodded in answer. But a glance at him and his eyes slightly widening told her that he was as sorry as she was.

Minutes ticked by while they sat on opposite sides of the bench, wanting to, but perhaps nervous or afraid to look at each other or speak to each other.

"Are you angry that I, that I…didn't…" she spoke up, voice trembling, "That I didn't wait for you?" The last part came out as more of a mumbled whisper. And she wasn't sure if he heard her or not; she wasn't even sure if she wanted him to hear or not.

She could've sworn that she saw him shake then. He opened his mouth, as if to answer, but seemed to change his mind. She held her breath as she waited for him to decide. Finally, with a slow shake of his head, he answered her, staring at the ocean.

"No, I'm not angry." His voice sounded odd, strained. "It's partly my fault after all. What was I thinking, disrupting your life like that? I shouldn't have come, thinking that things won't change, and that we can go back to the past, but I was too foolish to realise it. I thought I could stop time, but I guess in the end, I really can't make the impossible possible."

Murrue bit her lip at his words. She supposed she ought to feel relieved to learn that he wasn't angry with her. But there was such an underlying bitterness and regret in his words that made her sad. Did things really change between them? Couldn't they go back to the past?

"I'm sorry," was all she could say. Then in a desperate attempt to convince him, or herself, "But I, I can't go back on my word now. It, it won't be fair…" She displayed the ring for emphasis.

"I know. I won't make you do that."

She wasn't sure how to respond. She supposed that she should be thanking him for being so understanding, but couldn't voice her thoughts. So they fell silent again.

"But you know," she finally started, "You really _did_ make the impossible possible. And I'm really glad that you survived Mwu," she turned to him with a shaky smile, but he was looking at the ground.

"Hmm," was all he said.

"I was," she looked to the ocean in the far-off distance while talking in a quiet whisper, just loud enough for him to hear. "I was heartbroken when I thought you died. So when I saw you standing there that day, I was really glad."

Mwu glanced at the woman sitting a few feet beside him. She had a serene smile on her pale face, but there was something in her eyes that didn't quite match that smile.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, turning his gaze back to the ground.

"Don't be," she answered softly without looking at him. "You saved me and well, I, I feel grateful to you. I owe my life to you, and I can never repay you for that. I, I never did thank you Mwu, for helping me so much while we were on the Archangel," she smiled to herself, as if reliving precious and beautiful memories. "Anyway, thank you for everything, I feel so indebted to you."

"You owe me nothing Murrue." She looked up in surprise at his reply. "I did that out of my own free will, so please don't feel that way. Besides, that was all in the past now."

"I guess," she sighed quietly and closed her eyes. Yes, it _was_ all in the past now, and didn't she agree to move on?

"So, what do you plan on doing now that…" she trailed off, unable to say those words.

"I, don't know, exactly," he replied after a pause. "But, like I said before, I won't interfere with your life and your decisions."

"I know," she answered painfully. "Will I see you again?"

"Maybe."

Another awkward silence. She glanced at him and felt a terrible pain in her heart. They never seemed to run out of things to say before, and now…When had it become so awkward? Did they grow apart during this time? Had it been too long? She swallowed the sudden urge to cry. No, she promised herself that she wouldn't, not here, not now. Not in front of him.

She suddenly remembered something. She fumbled through her bag and produced a familiar white Earth Alliance cap.

"This, this is yours," she said as she fingered the rim of the hat. "I've been keeping it safe for you. And now…" she paused, shifting closer, "I guess I should give it back to you."

He said nothing, just nodded slightly.

"You know," she swallowed and clutched the white material in her hands, "I never got to say goodbye properly. I meant to at Alaska, but I, couldn't. And at Jakin Due," she cut herself off, unable to say the words she had in mind.

She looked back at him, and he chose that moment to glance at her. For a moment, their eyes locked, and both could see that the other was desperately trying to hold something back. She held his gaze, unable to look away. She opened her mouth, but nothing would come out. So she torn herself from his gaze and licked her lips nervously. She took a deep breath and focused her gaze on the far-off ocean.

"So, I guess, I guess this is good—" her voice suddenly hitched and her words caught in her throat as she realised the gravity of what she was about to say. She gasped as the realisation hit her, of how he always seemed to be leaving her, just when things looked like they would be going well. The first couple of times, at Alaska and Jakin Due, she had no choice in the matter, she could not stop him from leaving her. But now, now was different. This time, she had the power to stop him, but she chose not to; in fact, in a way, she was the cause of him leaving. And _that_ realisation just made it even more difficult.

"I, I wanted to say g—" she tried to say those words again as she glanced up at him, which turned out to be a mistake, because she found herself choking on those words again as she met his cobalt gaze. Tears gathered in her eyes as she saw her own suppressed pain reflected in his eyes. Not wanting him to see, she covered her face with her hands to hide the tears, before it became too much, as she moved next to him and buried her face on his shoulder. He made no move to take her into his arms to comfort her, but he didn't push her away either, and didn't seem to mind the fact that her tears were soaking into his cloths.

"Mwu, I…I still…love…you," she managed to choke out between sobs. She didn't know why she was blurting this out all of a sudden. Of all things to say, why…

He didn't react at all in return, no words, no actions. The only indication that he had even heard her at all was the slight movement of his fingers curling into a fist. And for some reason, she was grateful for that.

They stayed like that for some time. He stayed silent as he listened to her soft sobs, which subsided slowly as the afternoon went on. Her thin shoulders stopped shaking and only trembled slightly with her remaining hiccups.

"I'm sorry…I don't know what came over me," she mumbled as her tears dried. Again, he didn't answer; she didn't expect him to.

They sat there on that bench as the sun slid below the horizon, setting the sky on fire. Once, their relationship was like the sun, bright, passionate, and fiery. But the fire had diminished as time moved forward. Time caused the sun to disappear below the waters, taking the fire with it.

"You know," he spoke up, not looking at her, "I'm really happy for you, that you've found your happiness." His voice dropped to a whisper, "I'm just sorry that I could not be the one to give it to you."

She wanted to cry again at that. He sounded sincere enough, but she could tell from his strained voice and bittersweet smile that it took everything he had to say that to her. His love for her was still there for her to see, beneath the pain and the regret. It was still as beautiful as she'd remembered. It was there, the regret mixing with the happiness. It was unconditional. And it was too much for her to bear. Because she realised that unlike his love for her, her love for him was tainted with guilt and obligation, with anger and selfishness, and most heartbreaking of all, she realised that it was conditional. She had dreamed of being able to love unconditionally, selflessly, like in fairytales. But that had only been a fantasy, a dream of her childish mind. She didn't realise how difficult true and pure love really was.

Was this it then? Was this the end? She had dreamed of her being stronger than that, but because she was weak and scared, she was running away again.

The streetlights came on. She shivered slightly as the cool night wind brushed her skin.

"Come on Murrue, it's getting dark," he said finally, patting her hand to get her to detach herself from him. It was only then did she realise that she was holding onto his arm, clutching on tightly.

She nodded, hiding her face from him as she released her grip. She didn't protest as he helped her stand up, but she didn't dare look at him, because she knew that if she did, she'd burst into tears again.

"Are you okay getting home by yourself?" he asked. She nodded, not trusting herself to speak.

"Well, take care. I guess I'll see you around then," he nodded to her before walking away. Had she the courage to look up at him, she'd see a genuine, albeit a bit wistful, smile on his face as his gaze lingered on her.

"I guess so," she whispered to no one in particular. She was glad that the way he said goodbye didn't sound as final as how she had put it.

She slowly made her feet move in the direction of her home, forgetting that she still clutched the hat that she had meant to give back to him.

_(...to be continued...)_

* * *

_AN: I really liked writing this chapter, and it was quite easy to write :) But you guys probably hate me now for the angst... Did I bring tears to anyone's eyes? ;)_


	7. VII: Forfeit

Phase VII: Forfeit

---

"So you're just going to leave like this?" asked the Coordinator boy in disbelief as he watched the other man pack as if he had no other care in the world.

"Well, my vacation doesn't last forever," he grinned, "Besides, there's no reason for me to stay. My plane leaves this afternoon," came Mwu's nonchalant reply as he continued packing without stopping or even glancing at the boy.

Kira watched with knitted eyebrows. He couldn't believe how casual and indifferent Mwu was.

"Don't you care about her at all?" he had to ask.

Mwu's hands paused as he remembered the previous afternoon in the park, when she had cried on his shoulder, but he didn't even try to comfort her. _I still…love…you…_

"Of course I do!" he answered quickly, straightening up to look at Kira, then took a breath to calm down. "Of course I do. But that's why I'm letting her go. I've hurt her enough already, I don't think she needs any more pain from me." He then went back to folding his clothes.

"But don't you think you'd be hurting her more by just leaving?" Kira demanded, closing the suitcase lying on the bed so that Mwu would pay attention to him.

"She doesn't need me anymore Kira, she's engaged to someone else, and I don't want to mess up her life anymore than I already have. She's finally found happiness, and I have no right to take it away from her, or her fiancé for that matter." Kira could see from the pained look in his eyes that it had hurt him, a lot, to admit that.

"Is that what you really believe Mwu-san?" asked Kira sadly, "That she'd be better off without you?" He couldn't believe that the usually confident commander was just giving up like this.

"What else is there to believe?" he replied. In truth, he didn't want to believe what he had just told Kira. But believing in that was easier for him than to believe that she didn't love him anymore, that she never loved him enough to wait for him.

"So you're just going to run away without even trying to work things out," the Coordinator boy stated slowly.

Mwu sighed in exasperation, "What is there to work out?" he asked before opening the suitcase again and started loading it. "Just drop it, okay?"

Kira growled low in his throat. He was getting annoyed at Mwu's passive attitude. "But couldn't you at least _try_?"

"What point is there?" Mwu retorted. "It wouldn't work even if I want it to. Even if _I_ tried, what about her? I was the one who broke her heart, and he's the one who mended it and given her a future. Who do you think she would choose?" Then he chuckled ironically, "Wait, don't answer that, she has already chosen."

"But that was before she knew—"

"What do you want me to do, kidnap her at her wedding and elope?" Mwu cut in, exasperated. "Or should I go to her fiancé and demand that he return her to me?" he asked with a bitter laugh.

Kira was silent at that. He sighed and looked down. Mwu had a point.

"I just," the older man continued quietly, "I've resigned to the fact that she's not mine anymore. I had my chance, but I forfeited that at Jakin Due—"

"But that wasn't your fault!" Kira quickly cut in.

"It doesn't matter whose fault it is!" Mwu retorted, "Can't you see? It's over. She's chosen someone else, and we, what we had is all in the past now. It was a mistake for me to even come looking for her, thinking that we could still stay in the past. But time forgives no one."

Kira looked away, sadly, he couldn't quite think of an argument. "So, what are you going to do now? Aren't you at least going to stay for the wedding?"

Mwu let out a bitter laugh. "I wasn't invited. Besides, I don't think I could attend even if I was." He looked at Kira with controlled sadness in his eyes. "I think I'll take her advice and move on myself. I too need to put the past behind me."

"But what you had was…" Kira tried again, but cut himself off as he became uncertain whether he was being too nosy. That thought was confirmed by a glare from Mwu. Kira ignored it and continued, "I still think you should stay and…"

"Stay and do what?" he cut Kira off in a huff. "Should I stay here and help her raise his family? I'm sorry, but I'm not _that_ selfless!"

Kira blinked in surprise as his jaw dropped slightly.

"A-Are you angry at her or something?" he asked tentatively.

Mwu closed his eyes and exhaled slowly. "No, no I'm not. Just, forget I said that, okay."

Kira wasn't convinced. "I know you're frustrated by this, but don't blame it all on her. She was so heartbroken after Jakin Due, and—"

"And it's all my fault," Mwu continued matter-of-factly. "You're saying that if I should blame someone, blame myself right? Well okay, point taken. I have no reason to be angry at her because it's all my fault. Happy?"

"I, didn't, say, that." Kira gritted his teeth in annoyance, and had to take a deep breath to calm himself. Why was this man so difficult to reason with? From what he had seen and heard, what they had was perfect, unconditional love; he couldn't believe that both were giving up like this. If only he could get them to see what everyone else saw.

"I'm sorry Kira," came a mumbled apology, "Just drop it okay, I don't want to talk about it anymore."

Kira sighed and let it go, it seemed pointless to continue arguing if he wasn't willing to listen. He just had one more question, "Why are you being so cold to her? Aren't you at least going to tell her you're leaving?"

He clenched the material of the shirt he was folding. "Because," his voice lowered to a whisper that Kira could barely hear, "Because I'm afraid that if I see her, I'll never be able to let go." Was it Kira's imagination, or did his voice tremble slightly?

The two were silent as each was lost in their own thoughts.

"_I'll be right back, with victory in hand." _

Somehow, fate allowed him to keep his promise; it allowed him to come back to her. But did he bring victory with him? If he did, this was not how he pictured victory.

Now that he had finally found her after much dreaming and searching, why was he giving up so easily and so soon? Because as much as he hated to admit it, Kira was right, he was running away. Was it because he couldn't love her unconditionally anymore? That he could only love her if she loved him the most? Or was it because he was angry and disillusioned that she would do something like this? He had thought of nothing but her for the past year, so he was more than slightly cross to find that she didn't do the same. He couldn't just forget about it, his pride would not let him.

He knew that people change over time, and they were no exception. But did they change that much? Had they grown that far apart, had their love fade that much, that they couldn't even try to have a second chance?

He thought their love was stronger than that, so what happened? He searched and searched for a place to put the finger of blame to, but in the end, it didn't really matter whose fault it was. The fact was that he came too late, and missed his chance. So even though he hated to accept defeat, there was nothing he could do about it except to accept his forfeit. Still, it did not help the fact that he felt betrayed, abandoned, deserted. But he supposed that he did sort of deserve it, after all, he abandoned her at Jakin Due, so was this retribution?

_That's just the way it is, can't be helped… _

Kira watched the pained expression on Mwu's face silently. He could clearly see that the idea of Murrue walking down the aisle towards someone else, and letting her go, knowing there was nothing he could do, broke Mwu's heart. But Kira also understood there was nothing he could say or do to make it all better. He wished he could do something for them, because he knew they really did love each other once, and that they belonged together. But he also knew that it wasn't his place to interfere.

"Mwu-san, why are you still in the military, the war is over," asked Kira, startled when he saw the Earth Alliance uniform peeking out from under a pile of clothes in the suitcase.

Mwu smiled wryly. "Because being a soldier is all that I'm good at." He ignored Kira's worried look and closed the bag. "Besides, it's the only thing in life right now that I still know how to deal with."

_(to be continued...)_

* * *

_AN: hopefully, you're still reading this and not wanting to come after me with pitchforks... just some insight into what Mwu is thinking. I rather like writing Kira and Mwu's conversation :)_


	8. VIII: Chance

Phase VIII: Chance

--

Murrue found it hard to concentrate on her breakfast that morning as she went over the events of last night in her mind. She remembered that look in his eyes as she tried to say goodbye to him. She knew that he was hurting, that she was hurting him, and she hated herself for that. He had said that he wasn't angry at her, that he had forgiven her, but she felt angry at herself just the same for doing this to him. He had remained faithful, while she didn't. Once again, he had come back for her, but this time, she did not wait for him.

As she lay in the darkness last night, she dreamed of him, of all the time they'd spent together, of how he was always there for her, supporting her (Okay, he wasn't there for her for the past year, but that was due to circumstances beyond their control, and he did try his best to find her). She dreamed of the time that he had almost left her at Alaska, when she had realised just how much she needed him, how much she loved him. She remembered how her heart felt torn as she watched his retreating figure. And no matter how long ago it was, time could not take away that memory, time could not change the feelings that she had then. Was that feeling still there?

Yes, it was. She suddenly realised that yes, that feeling was still there. Her heart had felt the same sadness and ache as they parted last night as it did at Alaska and Jakin Due.

"I'm really happy for you, that you've found your happiness. I'm just sorry that I could not be the one to give it to you."

But she realised that she could not be happy without him, that in order to be happy, she needed _him_, and she could not be happy knowing that she loved him, but gave him up willingly.

Funny how you don't appreciate something until it's out of your reach. And it took a goodbye for her to realise what her heart truly desired.

But was it out of her reach? She still had a chance, didn't she? If only, if only she had enough courage to…

She looked at the ring again. It wasn't fair to Gale. She could not love him the way she loved Mwu. She was just leading him on, using him, because she was selfish, and he certainly did not deserve that. She knew he would be devastated if she broke up with him, but she also knew that he would be even more devastated if she had married him without being true to him.

So she made up her mind to set things right. She had to, even if she ended up heartbroken and alone, she had to make it up to the two men she cared about. She wouldn't run away anymore.

But things were harder than it seemed. It was Saturday, so both she and Gale were off work. She had plenty of chances to bring it up, but every time she opened her mouth to say it, she couldn't find her voice or she'd swallow her words. Was she nervous? Was she scared that Gale wouldn't take no for an answer?

So the morning passed without her making any progress. She kept on making excuses, thinking that now wasn't the right moment, or that she couldn't find the right words. Without realising it, she was running away again.

They ate lunch in silence. Gale had tried to engage her in casual conversation, but gave up eventually as he realised that she was distracted by something and wasn't even paying attention. He gazed at her in concern. He had a feeling that something was up, because she had been like this for the past couple of days, dazed and distracted.

"Murrue? Are you sick?"

"Hmm? Oh, I'm almost done, I'll clean up later," she replied absent-mindedly.

--

--

"Murrue, can I talk to you for a moment please?" the voice came from the living room as she walked down the stairs. Murrue sighed. She wasn't really in the mood to talk, even though she knew she should be talking to him.

"Sorry Gale, but can this wait? I'm kind of tired right…now," she finished her sentence slowly as she entered the living room, eyes widening as she took in the sight. Gale was standing there, surrounded by a few suitcases and other belongings.

"W-Where are you going?" she asked, confused. Was he going on a trip?

"I'm moving out," was the reply.

"Why?" she moved closer, startled at his response.

He turned his gaze away, and she noticed a tinge of sadness.

"What are you doing Gale?" For some reason, she was nervous and slightly afraid of the answer. "W-Why are you leaving?"

He looked back at her with an assuring smile. "Please Murrue, don't panic, just hear me out."

She nodded slowly and sat down on the couch.

"I'm leaving because there's someone else on your mind, isn't there?" he started softly. She didn't answer to confirm or deny his question, just stared intently at the carpet. But that was all the answer that he needed.

"Don't worry, I'm not angry," he told her as he saw her nervousness. "I just…" he sighed, trying to find the right words.

He walked towards the couch and sat down beside her. Then he took her left hand gently and removed the ring.

"Gale!" she exclaimed as she stared at him in surprise.

But he just smiled softly and shook his head; there was such kindness in his eyes. "It's okay."

Her eyebrows furrowed as she reached for the ring. "Are you sure, I—"

"Yes I am," he cut her off. She swallowed her words as she saw the pain in his eyes. "Please, just let me do this," he looked away and said in a low voice, "Please Murrue, it'll make it easier on me, and my pride."

She stared back at the floor, mind still spinning from what just happened. "I, I'm sorry," she whispered, "I…"

"Don't look so guilty," he shook his head and patted her hand, "This was _my_ decision, remember? I just want you to be happy Murrue, and if you can't find happiness with me," he swallowed, "Well, then, I don't think it's wise to continue, it'll just make both of us miserable."

She had to bite her lip to keep it from trembling. He had taken the words right out of her mind. He had been so kind to her, yet she…

He stood up stretched. "Well, I guess that's all I wanted to say," he said in a cheery voice, too cheerful. Then seeing her sad look, he sighed and fingered the ring. "I, I'll give you three days," he told her in a low voice. She looked up in surprise. "You can decide what you want without any obligations. If you still want this," he held out the ring, "You know where to find me. Otherwise," he swallowed, "Otherwise, I'll cancel the wedding."

Before she could react, he leaned down and kissed her soft lips. "Goodbye Murrue. I shouldn't be worried, since I trust your judgement. But whoever he is, I hope he brings you happiness."

With that, he picked up his belongings and walked towards the door.

"Wait!" He paused, but didn't turn. "Wait, Gale," she gulped, "Are you sure about this? I mean…"

Gale lowered his head and shook it gently. "It can't be helped Murrue."

"I'm so sorry, I know you're angry with me, and you have every right to be, but…"

"No, I'm not angry, because I know that we can't help who we fall in love with. So I'm fine with it." He started walking again.

"Then, then you should find your happiness too!" she called out, "Make sure you do, or else," she struggled to keep her voice from trembling, "Or else I'll never forgive you," _or myself… _

He smiled, "Don't worry, I will."

She watched him go from her place on the couch, unable to move or react. Her mind was numb, and she felt a dull ache in a heart. She prayed silently for him to find someone who could give him happiness, someone who would love him selflessly in the way that she could not. And as she watched him walk out her door, she could feel tears trail down her face.

* * *

_AN: sorry for the long delay. I actually have this chap sketched out a while ago, but took quite some time to get the details right (not sure if I still have it right). And I'm not quite sure about the next few chaps yet, because there's a couple of possibilities where I can take this (but they'd all end at the same point, I just can't decide which route to take yet)._

_I wanted Gale to be a sweet, kind, guy, perhaps he's just a bit ill-fated..._


	9. IX: CatchUp

_AN: see, I'm not dead, and neither is the story. Here's the long-awaited chapters at last._

* * *

Phase IX: Catch-Up 

-----

Murrue sat on the couch, immobile. She groaned as she felt the headache coming back. What should she do now? She glanced at her bare finger and felt a pang of guilt. She sighed. She supposed that she ought to be grateful for what had happened, as she had felt it was wrong to lead Gale on like that, and he had done what she had wanted, but couldn't. But she couldn't help but feel sad about it as well. Despite what she told herself, part of her still loved him. He had been so kind to her, and had helped heal her heart after the war, and she felt horrible for doing this to him.

At first, she tried to push him away, but part of her accepted him, because she needed someone there. She felt another pang of guilt as she realised that perhaps the reason that she accepted Gale was because of her selfish need to move on, to _forget_ Mwu, to bury the memories of those things that brought her such pain. She needed a distraction, to stop herself from thinking about Mwu, and despite that her conscience told her it was wrong, she went along with it in desperation. But she still could not deny the fact that she really did end up having feelings for Gale, which was why she accepted when he'd proposed, thinking that she finally had a chance to be happy, and why she had felt her heart ache when he left the house.

But now what?

The logic thing of course, she told herself, was to find Mwu and make everything right with him. But for some reason, she couldn't move. She felt scared, of what she wasn't sure, but just an uneasy feeling. Perhaps it was due to the guilt that maybe she should wait a bit longer. She had just broken up her engagement an hour ago after all, and going back to Mwu so soon felt…wrong somehow. Or maybe she was afraid that Mwu was angry at her and didn't want her back anymore.

But he didn't seem angry the last time they met.

Well, only one way to find out.

Jumping off the couch, she headed for the telephone. She dialled Kira's number and waited impatiently for the boy to pick up.

"Hello?" came Kira's voice.

"Kira-kun, can you tell me where Mwu is staying? I need to see him right now," she told him quickly.

The other side was silent, as if Kira was pondering what to do.

"Kira-kun?" she prompted after a few seconds of silence, "Please, it's urgent."

"Murrue-san…" the boy started hesitantly, "Mwu-san, he already…"

Murrue's knees felt weak as she foreshadowed that something was wrong. "What, what happened?" she asked softly, leaning against the wall for support.

A pause. "He already left for the airport, his plane leaves in half an hour."

The receiver of the phone slipped out of her hand as the answer sank in.

"Murrue-san? Murrue-san!" Kira's voice called anxiously from the other end of the phone.

_He's…leaving? Why didn't he tell me…_

She sat down in the kitchen, mind numb, thinking incoherently.

_I…can't let him…no, I have to… _

She made her decision. She jumped to her feet and grabbed the phone still dangling from the cord, where Kira was still calling to her, worried, and quickly asked Kira about Mwu's flight number.

"I, I don't know exactly what flight he's getting on, but I do know the time and have an idea where he's going…"

Murrue thanked Kira, hung up the phone, grabbed her purse and keys and raced out of the door.

----

Mwu stood in the line-up to check in his baggage. He glanced at his watch impatiently, looked at the line in front of him, and sighed. He had left the hotel at the last minute, and now he feared that he might miss his flight. He exhaled again, willing the line to move faster. He wished that he could've just flown in, but International laws prevented him from flying a fighter plane into Orb. So he had to deal with commercial airlines.

While waiting, his mind drifted. His conversation with Kira echoed in his mind.

"_So you're just going to run away without even trying to work things out" _

_I'm not running away! I'm just…leaving her in peace, _his mind argued.

"_Aren't you at least going to tell her that you're leaving?" _

Mwu looked at his ticket and sighed. He knew that Murrue would be furious if she found out that he'd left without saying a word. But he felt it was best this way.

Besides, by the time she found out, he'd already be hundreds of miles away and out of her life. Out of sight, out of mind.

However, whenever he closed his eyes, he'd see her gentle face smiling back at him. It was from his memory of the most precious moments that he'd spent with her, the days leading up to the final battle. There was none of the sadness and uncertainty that her face held now. Those moments that he wanted so much to hold on to, yet wanted so badly to forget. Before the war was over, they didn't even think about the future, choosing to live day by day, trying to hold onto each and every detail. Now that the war was over, they both tried to forget.

Forget? It seemed easier said than done.

Because even though the sands of time slipped past his fingers, his heart remained frozen in the past, refusing to release him.

He remembered how, at JOSH-A, his mind had latched onto her image as he turned and walked away. How he tried to forget, but it just made the memories stronger. Then his mind shifted to the past year, of how his mind held onto a single name, a single smile.

_Murrue… _

_But I need to move on, right? _

"Next?" the woman at the counter called out, snapping him back to reality. Finally. He checked his watch; he still had fifteen more minutes to board the plane. Dragging his suitcase behind him, he moved forward.

----

Murrue checked the car clock for the tenth time in the last two minutes. She looked at the line-up of cars in front of her and groaned in frustration. Orb may be small, but it was pretty densely populated. And it was just her luck that she had to go through the busiest part of the island to get to the airport. She silently willed and pleaded for the cars to move faster, or for time to slow down. Nothing happened.

She glanced at the clock again. Approximately twenty more minutes until his plane is scheduled to take off.

_What'll I do! _

She was still a good ten minutes away from the airport, and that would be in smooth traffic. And even if she did make it to the airport on time, she knew that it would take time to find him, if he hadn't boarded the plane already.

There were just too many ifs!

_But these planes are usually late anyway, right? Besides, if I know Mwu, he always left things to the last minute._

She wasn't sure about that, but the thought gave her hope anyway. She looked at her bare finger and took a deep breath.

I can't give up now. I have to do this, and I will catch him.

With that thought in mind, she started weaving through the traffic.

----

Murrue ran into the Departures building, breathless as she walked up to the help desk.

"Please, can you…tell me…where to find…the plane that's leaving for Kaosung in a few minutes?"

"Hold on a moment please." The woman at the desk turned to a computer and typed something in. Murrue tapped her fingers impatiently on the counter as she waited. The woman seemed to take an eternity to find what she was looking for.

"Here it is, Orb Airlines, Gate 54, through that door to the right," the woman read from the screen. "Ah, but it's taking off in two—" she glanced up at the inquirer, but she was already gone.

----

Murrue raced through the airport with a sinking heart. His plane was leaving in a couple of minutes, which means that he had already boarded the plane. And without a ticket, she couldn't get through the gate.

She ran past a glass wall overlooking the runway, when something caught her eye. She stopped and with trembling legs, walked up to the window. She could only watch as his plane took off towards Kaosung.

* * *

_AN: yay for evil cliffies :)_

_Was that too cliche? ah well... I haven't written serious stuff for a while... I'm feeling a bit rusty._

_Uh, since it's been like a year since I last went on a plane, I can't remember the details of the process to check-in, so bear with me and call it artistic license, k._

_Meh, reviews and critiques welcome. Flames will be used to toast Azrael in Hell :)_


	10. X: Rejection?

_Beware of melodrama, cliches, and OOCness..._

* * *

Phase X: Rejection? 

--------

As Murrue drove home, she tried her best to swallow the lump in her throat and blink back the stinging in her eyes. She couldn't believe it, just when she thought everything would be fine again, he's gone. He left her again, and she had no idea how to reach him.

_Why on earth didn't I try to reach him sooner? _

Murrue wanted to kick herself for hesitating to contact him. And look where it got her.

This felt like JOSH-A all over again, except this time, they left each other out of their own wills.

_I guess I'll never see him again… _

_No! Don't think like that!_ she shook her head and reminded herself.

No, she should be giving up already. Taking a deep breath, she decided to go back and see if Kira knew anything about where Mwu would be staying, a phone number perhaps, or any clues at all.

_I will find him...I have to... _

----

Mwu stared after the taxi pulling away in the late afternoon sun and sighed.

_Okay, so I'm here, now what?_

He scanned the houses in the distance, wondering what to do. How would he know which one was hers?

_This is stupid...Maybe I should've gotten on that plane after all. _

As he stepped forward to check in his luggage, he suddenly changed his mind and turned towards the exit. He wasn't sure why he had made such a rash decision, but he couldn't get the image of her out of his mind, and he just all of a sudden wanted to see her.

But now that he had come back, he wasn'ts sure what to do next. He was sure that if he tried, he could find her house easily. But he was scared to do so, because he didn't want to meet her fiance. Besides, what would he do when he did find her? Like he had told Kira, he had forfeited his chance.

He palmed his face and let out a frustrated groan.

Standing here wasn't solving anything, so before he knew it, his feet began taking him away from the park and down towards the park where they had last met.

----

Murrue stood in her empty kitchen, looking out at the ocean.

It was quiet, too quiet. The silence was unnerving her.

She looked at her bare finger again and felt a tear slide down her face.

It wasn't fair! Just as she was given a second chance to be with Mwu, this had to happen.

Taking a shaky breath, she wondered if a walk to the park would calm her emotions.

----

Murrue walked towards the park, deep in thought. What if she couldn't find him? What if he really was gone forever? Then what? Would she have to stay alone all of her life?

No, she told herself quickly. She would search the world for him if she had to, just like he searched for her.

But what if he didn't wait this time...

Now that would be ironic.

She closed her eyes and shut out her thoughts. Right now, she needed to clear her mind.

The park was mostly empty at this time of the day, save for a few couples sitting on the bench, enjoying each other's company. She turned away, suddenly reminded of her last meeting with him, where she had blurted out that she still loved him.

_Why on earth did I tell him that... _

She wondered what he'd think of her now...

Murrue looked to the ocean, hoping it would help calm her. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw that someone was standing at the lookout, staring at the ocean as well.

Not really in the mood to talk to anyone, she walked away, when her eyes caught a familiar shade of blond. She did a double take and turned to the person, who had his back to her at the moment. But she still recognized him, and her heart skipped a beat.

_Are my eyes deceiving me! Is this a dream?_

She blinked and pinched herself to make sure that she wasn't dreaming. Making sure that she wasn't, she felt her heart soar.

"Mwu!" she called out as she ran up to him.

He turned at her voice and looked a bit surprised to see her. "Murrue?"

She felt like crying as she reached him. Standing in front of him, her knees almost gave out with relief. "You're still here, I'm so glad! So glad!"

"Well, I, uh, missed my flight," he lied and smiled sheepishly.

She laughed, almost nervously. "Then I'm glad that you did, because..." she trailed off, as she suddenly felt shy, and looked down at her hands.

He didn't say anything. Suddenly he felt uncomfortable as well. Yes, he had come back, but he didn't quite know what he'd say when he saw her. He suddenly felt stupid. What was he expecting by coming back. What was left for him?

"Um, I..." he started, but she started talking at the same time.

"You go first," he told her.

"Um, well, the thing is, I…" She sighed and held out her left hand. Rubbing her finger absent-mindedly, she whispered, "Gale and I uh, broke up today. So um, you know, we could…" she trailed off, smiling to herself. She looked up at him expectantly, waiting to see his reaction to the news.

As he stared at her bare finger, his mind felt numb. But instead of relief or joy, he suddenly felt an expected surge of disappointment and anger. Did she come to him only because her fiancé broke up with her? Was he simply a rebound?

"Is that why you're here? Your fiancé just dumped you, so you come running to me right away, expecting me to be all happy that you're available again, is that it?" he asked flatly, not looking at her. "I'm sorry, but I don't want to be your rebound."

Murrue's jaw dropped at that comment. Rebound? Her smile faded as she clenched her teeth; she could feel anger rising inside of her as her hand moved as if on its own accord.

The crisp sound of palm-on-cheek was heard as her hand made contact.

"If that's what you think, then why did you come back? Why didn't you just leave on that damn plane? You stupid jerk! I went to the airport when I thought you were leaving. Know why went after you? I did it because I love you! Or so I thought, but now," she took something out of her bag and shoved it into his hands, "Now I'm not so sure anymore!" She took off, grateful for the tears cooling her hot face.

He didn't move, just stared at her retreating form. His cheek stung as he slowly looked at what he held in his hand.

His old Earth Alliance hat stared accusingly back at him.

* * *

_AN: bleh! -wipes rotten tomatoes off face-_

_This chapter sounded better in my head... but written down, it just turned bleh... the only think I like about it is the very last line._

_Ah well... I think I kinda wrote this in a hurry, 'cause I just wanna get this finished and to the next chapters... so yeah... _


	11. XI: Together

Phase XI: Together 

-------

Murrue kicked the sand while cursing under her breath. She couldn't believe it! He was such a stupid, selfish jerk! How could she ever even _think_ to love him?

"_Whoever he is, I hope he brings you happiness" _

Yeah right, happiness.

Then she cursed herself for being the fool that she was. She was the one stupid enough to fall for him.

Slowly, her anger calmed as she stood there on the beach alone, panting hard.

Now what?

She had expected him to accept her right away; she'd imagined everything would go all smoothly and perfectly, she'd never expected _that_ to happen.

What should she do now that the one her heart yearned for rejected her?

She sighed. She supposed she couldn't really blame him, after all, she was the one who made a mess of things, she was the one who didn't wait and turned him away.

Should she go back to Gale? She still had one more day to reply.

She immediately wiped that thought from her mind. No, whatever she would end up doing, that is one option she wouldn't choose. Because it wouldn't be fair to Gale, especially after all the kindness he'd shown her.

_Unlike some other jerk I know! _

She kicked the sand again. Why was she so attached to him?

_Because despite what you say, you know he's not really so inconsiderate, it's just a stupid misunderstanding,_ she answered herself.

_Oh shut up! _

Maybe she should do what she should've done a year and half ago: stay away from people and become a hermit. It wouldn't be too difficult, as she was already starting to talk to herself.

Murrue sighed again. What was wrong with her? Why was it so hard for her to find happiness?

Just as she was wondering what to do, she suddenly felt something being placed on her head by someone behind her. She reached up instinctively with her hand and took the object off her head. Her hands trembled as she recognized the white military hat.

"Hey."

Her heart pounded as she recognized that voice. Did she dare to look? She had to.

She turned and her pulse quickened as she met his blue eyes, turned slightly greenish by the setting sun. He had the old familiar grin on his face, and his eyes were full of apology.

"W-What do you want!" she had hoped her tone was venomous, but her trembling voice ruined the effect.

"I want to apologize," he replied evenly, voice unwavering, "For what I said back there, and all that I've done to hurt you," then at her narrowed eyes, his tone softened. "I'm really sorry Murrue."

She turned away, choosing to look at the waves instead of him. She found her anger melt away like it always did; for some reason, it was really hard to stay mad at him. Besides, even if she wasn't willing to admit it, this was exactly what her heart wanted, and hoped for. "Apology accepted, I guess," she mumbled.

He moved closer and gently cupped his hand under her chin, making her look at him straight in the eyes. There was that familiar kindness and love in them, that made her heart skip. She gulped as she wondered if he could hear her heart beating.

"I, I was also hoping to accept your offer. That is, if it's still open."

There was such hope and pleading in those blue eyes. She was reminded of a little boy begging for a cookie before dinner, and had to bite her cheeks to keep from laughing at that thought.

"Please Murrue? I know I haven't deserved it, but could I have that second chance, please?" he added when she didn't answer.

"Oh alright!" she answered with a sound halfway between a laugh and a cry as she dove into his waiting arms, burying her face in the crook of his neck, breathing in his scent.

"But you're still a jerk," she mumbled.

He laughed, "Yes, I know."

"And I guess I should apologize too, for all that I've said, and for not waiting for you."

"What, not for slapping me?" he joked.

She tried to hide her embarrassment. "Nope, you deserved that."

He chuckled, "I guess I did."

"Murrue?"

"Hmm?"

He tipped her head back and kissed her soft lips in the setting sun.

"I won't go anywhere anymore. I promise."

She blushed and leaning into him. "Thank you."

She finally had all that her heart desired.

--------

THE END

* * *

_AN: Well, here it is, it's done. Thanks for sticking with me! yay for fluff XD_


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